Waiting for tomorrow!

Well today I am 19 weeks along which is just one week shy of half way!! Tomorrow is our big appointment which will hopefully accomplish the following:

1) Let us know the baby is doing well
2) Release me to go back to work

I have been feeling a lot of movement and I am definitely getting bigger everyday so I anticipate that the baby will be right on track!

That is all for now, but we'll let you all know how it goes tomorrow!

No news is good news!

Well no news from me is always good news, so I hope no one is out there worrying for us! I got a wonderful surprise last week when Jon came home two days early. So we have just spent time with our family hanging out and remembering all that we have to be thankful for. I have been feeling amazing! I have had no spotting since Friday, so the Doc was right on about that. I have been slowly increasing my activity around the house and am so so ready to go back to work. I feel so tired being at home all the time. I hear that the less active you are the less active your body wants you to be, so I've gone about four days in a row now without my afternoon nap trying to get ready for that adjustment. :) Right now we are just waiting until my apt on the 23rd where they will do a full anatomy check on the baby, and if inquiring minds want to know we are still not finding out the sex.....sorry you'll just have to wait! But that apt will offer even more relief and I highly anticipate my release back to the real world, instead of watching re-runs on daytime cable. Thank you again for all your encouragement! We are almost half way there and I couldn't have done it without you! xoxo Jes

Getting better all the time.....

Well, I had a doctors appointment yesterday and while the bedside manner of the doctor (who is not my doctor) was quite disappointing (long story) the results of the appointment itself are fantastic! Here is where we stand. We were concerned because I have been spotting since February 8th and the doctors wanted to make sure that the abruption was not worsening or that my cervix was not changing or causing other problems. So we went in had the ultrasound and doctor says I'm fine! So here are the details. After I was hospitalized on Feb 8th I had a hematoma (blood clot) from the abruption that was larger than the placenta and the baby both. What the ultrasound confirmed yesterday is that my body has reabsorbed and lost the majority of the hematoma. We are now looking at something smaller than a dime vs the size of a large grapefruit. Which is great. I should stop spotting any day now. The other thing is that since the blood has been absorbed we were able to get a good picture of the extent of the abruption. Abruptions are graded on a scale of 0 to 4. 4 being devastating where the placenta detaches completely, and 0 being a mild abruption that is often not detected until after delivery. I am about a 0.5. So this is all great news, my doctors do not anticipate that this should negatively affect us after this point. In two weeks I will be going in for a complete anatomy check on the baby to measure and check the fluids, after that we should be cake! And I'll be at 20 weeks, half way done. So much good news today and Jon comes home on Friday to share in the celebration. The only thing I am really struggling with is that my doctor still won't release me back to work. I was confused because its like if I'm fine, why can't I just get on with my life and go back to the real world. I suppose it is better to "err on the side of caution" but I am really anxious to get up and get out of here! So for now I just have to wait and see. After the anatomy check hopefully I can get back into the swing of things. Today was the first day in a while that I could just imagine holding that new baby and anticipating its arrival, not out of worry, but out of pure joy!

The Sunshine!!

Well I am grateful for the beautiful weather we have had here the past couple of days but........I came to the strangest realization this morning as I awoke with the sun streaming in my window.....This is not going away. I will never be better for the rest of this pregnancy. Even when things improve I will never be able to regain the level of activity I once had as far as working out and running. With the sun shinning and the birds outside and the cool breeze my legs ache and tingle to hit the pavement. I miss the sounds of my ipod and the fields and eagles passing me on my route. This part is going to be hard.....I keep envisioning last summer when I trained for my 1/2 marathon and I thought that was hard, but being so restricted is actually harder. I know in my head this is only temporary and I can't wait to come out on the other end of this. I keep visualizing how I will be energized and ready to ease back into my routine once the baby is hear and how maybe now I won't put off doing that full marathon I have always wanted to do. They always say you don't know how much you miss something until its gone and while trivial.....running is my escape. So for today that is the thing I am really missing and I truly long for.

Feeling much better!

Well the last couple of days I have really picked myself up. I am feeling much better. I got a new shade of red nail polish and that always helps. Today is Friday and I am approaching the last weekend I have to spend alone without Jon for a while, so I am looking forward to it being over. I am so glad that I asked for help with our sign-up sheet. We received two extra large pizzas, salad, soft drinks, and a dessert bread sticks last night and that will well carry us through the weekend! It was so generous and really helped us out. I feel such relief knowing that I don't have to worry about that. I also had the privlage of meeting another amazing woman in CA who is going through exactly the same thing as me. Odd because our doctors both told us how rare these conditions are......It was great to talk to someone who felt the same way, had the same fears, and was strong enough to be candid and honest with me, even though we just met. I have been so blessed by the support system that surrounds me, but I feel even greater reassurance now having someone who mirrors exactly what is happening to me. The best thing is we are only one week apart in our due dates, so we can go through this whole journey together. I have always believed that things happen for a reason, but in my heart I am starting to see that God finds ways of bringing people together, and helping show people an oppourtunity to do good for others, and I can't wait to pay it forward to somene in need after this beatiful, healthly baby gets here!

A Tough Day

What a day!! I don't know what it is but today was awful emotionally. I am just so exhausted and overwhelmed by everything that is going on. I realized today that I work to stay busy when my hubby is out because it provides a great distraction and sense of worth that I need. Right now I'm feeling everything that I despise, I feel useless, lazy, and pretty much ugly. I know that sounds awful, but seriously. With a five minute shower every other day it kind of feels like what is the point. I just can't wait for Jon to come home and help me. Being at home on bedrest shouldn't be that hard but it really is the hardest thing I have ever done. I try to think of it as training for something like a marathon, or competition but the truth is I can' t see the reward in sight yet with such a long, long way to go, and with an athletic competition instead of just watching your belly grow and counting every new streatch mark you actually get to see definition, increased energy and less fat! I wish I knew what would help me feel better, so that all of you wouldn't be worrying about me, and truly I am just venting at the moment. I don't think there is anything that will help except for time, which I am constantly reminded that currently I have an excess of that. Even sleep is disrupted by insomnia. I feel like groundhog day over and over again. I know this journey is going to have many more ups and downs, it just feels like such a lower down when I am alone, without Jon and if I may for a moment, thank him sarcastically for causing all of this in the first place. :) Well not really.... but blaming him for just that second did make me feel better. Maybe that's it I'll just keep blaming him for all this until he gets home!

I know I have so much to be grateful for and that things could be so much worse than they are, but I just want everyone to know how much I miss life, work and the regular activity I was able to do up until now!!

Good news is that American Idol is on tonight and the TV and I have become quite good friends, with an endless supply of "A Baby Story" "Judge Judy" and others, there is plenty of entertainment. Thanks for listening and continuing to support us. I'm sorry for feeling sorry for myself, but I just have to get it out there so I can move on to tomorrow.

Love, Jes

Another Week Down

Well this week I'll rate as optimistic and less anxious. I had an awful weekend and was cursed with the 24 hour flu which really took a toll on me, but I'm glad to have that over!!! I had my latest and greatest doctors appointment today and I just have to say I am so grateful for their care and I really feel like they are not just "treating a condition" but they are in my corner and going through this journey with me.

Here is the latest news. I have been spotting continuously with no interruption for over two weeks. The concern now at 16 weeks is that as the baby and placenta will almost double in size over the next 4 weeks and that growth can cause more of the placenta to pull away from the uterine wall resulting in a larger abruption. The other concern is that my cervix may now be nuisanced with all the abnormal activity and could be dilating or thinning which could be another reason for the spotting.

Next Monday the 8th, I will have another complete ultrasound so we can get a better picture of what is going on and why I am still consistently spotting. Once we have that information we will continue to take it a week at a time. I have a lot to look forward to though; I get to see that beautiful, strong little baby again next week and two weeks from that I will have yet another ultrasound which will measure the baby and check to make sure we are developing on time. Then my "super goal" is to make it to 24 weeks. At 24 weeks, the doctors will make every effort to save the baby and I am only 8 weeks away from that point. So 1/3 down from goal number 1...any week after that will be a great blessing!

I will talk to everyone again soon. Big Jon will be home on the 12th so I am busy missing him, and can't wait for him to come back! I am going to update the sign-up sheet again. As difficult as it is for me to ask for help, I am realizing that it is not just about me and my feelings, I need help so that I can rest and focus and baking this little baby!! Thank you so so much for your concern and prayers!!

Love, Jes

An Overdue Update

Well the last week has been a mix of emotions. Jon and I got to enjoy a whole week together as we learned the good news and he was able to stay home before they left again on Tuesday. Yes, Jon left again on Tuesday for another two weeks. It was wonderful to have him hear and I miss him so much more now than ever before.

After we left the Doctor last Tuesday we were excited and also worried for what's to come. Yes things appeared better on the ultra sound but there are still so many doubts. I am trying to take it one week at a time and I am grateful for the understanding and patience that my Doctor has for me.

I had another appointment this Tuesday, where I anticipated a release back to work Part-Time however, I had begun spotting after my appointment last week and I continue to do so even up until today. So it is back to Bedrest. After testing the sample they concluded that the spotting is a mixture of old blood and new blood. So I won't be going back to work until that is resolved, which I am starting to think might never happen as I am not doing anything directly to cause it. If I continue to spot until my next appointment, which I now have weekly, they will do another complete ultrasound just to double check.

I know that I have the most wonderful gift to look forward to at the end of this journey, but this has been really difficult. I am bored, a bit sad, and now lonely for Jon. What a difference from one pregnancy to the next. The first time was such a great experience, all happiness and excitement, this time it is just hopefulness and concern. I know we'll get there and I am amazed that we are already 3 weeks past the incident I am now 16 weeks and counting!!!

Miracles Happen Everyday

Well they say God works in mysterious ways, and today he worked mysteriously enough to stump my doctors. All they could say, was "sometimes we can not explain these things". So I had another ultrasound today and it showed that the placenta previa has absolved itself. My placenta is in the perfect position to support the baby and I no longer have the worry of hemmoroging or c-section delivery at this point. While the abruption will never heal, now that the blood has absorbed we can see that it was a very marginal abruption and the trail it left behind is now just a small clot that my body most likely will absorb. There was a mixture of feelings in the Doctors office this morning, part of it elation and amazement that God was gracious enough to answer all of our prayers. The other part confusion and resentment at the time that passed me by this week in worry and fear. I also had a hard time believing the Doctors when they couldn't actually explain how this issue just resolved itself in one week, to their surprise!!! The best news is I will be able to get off of strict bed rest next week and move to mild bed rest, which means I can go back to work part-time, make dinner, get the mail, and pick up my son from school. I will still be monitored closely as my Doctor has some elements of this "miracle" we can not explain and if you can imagine being a Doctor and unable to support something with scientific evidence, he'd still just like to watch out for me. So the verdict is in baby is doing great, we are doing great, and we look forward to the journey ahead and the blessing of this amazing baby! We continue to be overwhelmed by your support and prayers and thankful that we could count on you. As for the sign-up sheet. If you are signed up for now, go ahead and cross it off your list. We will be fine for the time being and if something happens in the future I'll know where to find you!!!! I will continue to post on the blog our progress and journey, it is a great outlet for me and learning how things can change in one instant I think it will help me stay positive and remember where we have been these past few weeks!

xoxox The Wyse Family

Homecoming Part II

Oh wow, I have never experienced such a sigh of relief as I did yesterday when my husband finally walked through the door. It was amazing. It was like all of those fears and worries just disappeared. My family feels back to normal. Hubby, Little Jon and I spent the evening watching a movie and it was the most precious moment I have had in a long time. Funny how the little things like that become the focus when you are ridden to bed.

Things continue to look well. I have had no spotting and yesterday was exactly one week from the day that everything changed. I am so looking forward to my doctors apt tomorrow. Part of me thinks maybe this was all a bad dream. Maybe I'll go in tomorrow and they'll say "everything looks great". Maybe I can go back to work. Maybe I can cook a meal. When someone or something confines you to bed, I mean really confines you to bed, your whole outlook changes. How grateful I would be if I could just get up and go get the mail. But things are really looking up. The support and love I have from friends and family really replenishes my soul and I will continue to keep you updated. Not sure if you saw my countdown clock on the top of the page, but I will use that as a tool to help set mini-goals for myself throughout this process.

Today is going to be a great day!

Happy Valentines Day

Still going strong. I've been home for two days now and doing well. No spotting. I took a five, well maybe just a smidge over five, minute shower yesterday. It felt great, but there is this slight pang of panic that affects all activities, I was worried I was taking too long. I was worried that I could start bleeding. While everyone worries that it will be too difficult for me to stay down, what they don't know is that I feel almost trapped and there is no way mentally that I would do anything that would jeopardize the success I have had so far. All I know is if laying here is my only chance, then laying here is what I am going to do, and I'll do the best I can. We have no idea when Jon will be coming home because they keep changing the date on us, but I know he'll be here soon, and soon can't come soon enough. The hardest thing about all of this is having to depend on someone else to execute the things I want done. I just feel so bad about needing everyone. I do know that everyone loves us and supports us and this is there way of showing it, so it does make me smile. On another note, I secretly miss the hospital food, but am looking forward to the menu this morning courtesy of my in-laws, heart shaped pancakes and eggs. Yum! Yum!

Homecoming Part I

Ahhh the smell of my island breeze airfreshner and dirty dog are so much more comforting than the sterile smell of a hospital room. You know I can't imagine what women did on bedrest before laptops, wii and cable televesion. Right now I am just waiting to see my little boy, last night when Aunt Jenn told him I would be home tonight he told her she was lying! We plan on watching a movie and cuddling! The in laws will be here late tonight and stay until Monday when Jon gets home, that will be homecoming Part II. I feel so relieved now that I am actually home and quite relaxed so far, there are no dirty dishes in the sink and like I said it smells good here! Can't wait for tomorrow, I finally get to take a shower. My bed rest instructions are as follows, from bed to bathroom, to couch and/or recliner and one five minute shower every other day. I don't even know how I will get my hair washed in five minutes let alone all of me, it will defintely take me back to my boot camp days, except at least my five mintue showers at home will be warm, instead of ice cold.

Condition Information

Placenta Previa
https://health.google.com/health/ref/Placenta+previa

Placenta Abruptio
https://health.google.com/health/ref/Placenta+abruptio

Reality

What a ride! Today was such excitement and joy at the smallest acomplishment and now as I lay here trying to lull myself to sleep I find that reality is setting in. Tomorrow will begin phase II of an unknown amount of phases. I am aching to be home with my son, who cried for me tonight and asked that I just come home and spank him if nothing else. I can't wait to hold him and read him a book and pet my little dog and surround myself with all the people that are already holding a place in my heart. What is happening now is I'm starting to get a little scared. Am I going to be able to give my son what he needs and still take care of myself? Just a lot of anxiety and fear over what's to come. I remind myself that I have no control and I just need to stay positive but I will tell you now at a quarter to Midnight, while I can't wait for tomorrow, I keep trying to play out all the possible scenarios and feelings I will have when I return to the well...scene of the crime. I know all will be well, I just need to get there. Thanks for letting me vent. More to come.....Love, Jes

The end of a great day!

Today was a great day, I got to use the big girl potty for the first time, which means yes, I got to get up out of bed. I stood on my own two feet, and good news is there was NO bleeding!!! I get to go home tomorrow afternoon as long as everything goes well the rest of the night. Everyday that we can get stronger, the future looks that much more in our reach. I continue to be amazed and so appreciative of all the support we have recieved from friends and family!!! The positive and supportive outlook everyone has gives me great strength!! I think I will post more details on the condition and the options the doctor has presented us with tomorrow, but today I was just proud and grateful for my "potty" acheievement!!!!!

Diagnosis

So I have been diagnosed with complete placenta previa and a partial placenta abruption. What does all of that mean? This is usually fatal to the fetus and/or mother immediatly if the condition presents itself this early in the pregnancy but here we are four days later and doing well. Yesterday I had a long talk with the doctor about all of our options and what to expect. What we are shooting for is 15 weeks and a check-up to make sure the baby is still thriving and the placenta is viable. From that point delivery can be made at 28 weeks so any week after that will be a great blessing.

Day 1- An early morning

On Monday, February 8th, one week into my second trimester I woke up at 5:00am with a warm wet sensation between my legs. As I felt around I discovered the warm wetness surrounded me. As I lifted the sheets for inspection, I was more than horrified. Blood was everywhere. I rushed myself to the ER called my Aunt Sandy who lives in Anacortes and upon check in I was told that this was likely a miscarriage. As the doctor completed the exam I prepared for my pregnancy to be over. The doctor left the room to search for "fetal matter".

He returned with no evidence of "fetal matter" and proceeded with an ultrasound. To our surprise there was the baby, healthy, kicking and heart beating. It was a big surprise to us all, including the doctor.

At this point I was blood typed and had blood put on reserve in the bank, because they had no idea how much blood I had already lost at home, but there were concerns just in the amount I had lost at the ER. After lab work, blood typing, and a brief consultation with the doctor I had a formal extensive ultrasound to determine what the diagnosis would be.