Reality

What a ride! Today was such excitement and joy at the smallest acomplishment and now as I lay here trying to lull myself to sleep I find that reality is setting in. Tomorrow will begin phase II of an unknown amount of phases. I am aching to be home with my son, who cried for me tonight and asked that I just come home and spank him if nothing else. I can't wait to hold him and read him a book and pet my little dog and surround myself with all the people that are already holding a place in my heart. What is happening now is I'm starting to get a little scared. Am I going to be able to give my son what he needs and still take care of myself? Just a lot of anxiety and fear over what's to come. I remind myself that I have no control and I just need to stay positive but I will tell you now at a quarter to Midnight, while I can't wait for tomorrow, I keep trying to play out all the possible scenarios and feelings I will have when I return to the well...scene of the crime. I know all will be well, I just need to get there. Thanks for letting me vent. More to come.....Love, Jes